Pensive Interruption

         I have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately that will eventually come out in the order that the events took place (I hope to be caught up to the present by thursday night), but I just  needed to get a few things out.  It has hit me that my program is completed in a month (from tomorrow) and that there are so many things left to do.  Not so much with classes (although there is a lot) or people here, but with myself.  I came over here with a lot of expectations and I on paper it looks like I have completed a lot of them.  To name the 5 primaries, I have gained a decent grasp of italian; I feel confident talking to anyone in italian  (if only they would slow down so I could actually hear the words).  I am working in a kitchen (as always not perfect but more on that later).  I have played water polo with a club here twice now (I would go much more often if it wasn't for the next goal).  And I have traveled to many places (though not as many as I like).  The fifth, "be open to any and all paths that this adventure takes me on," is more of a state of mind.
          Lately, I just feel that I haven't been living this out to the fullest.  The last three times I've sent my liver into overdrive, I have received signs from the gods (it used to be Pagan country here) to quit it and drink like an italian.  And yes these stories will be told in due time, but its more about my view of alcohol with this problem.  In the fall, I gave up drinking for 30 days because of certain events that had transpired.  Through that time, it was tough to not accept drinks because I knew that I would drink again.  I've never had problems with alcohol, well serious ones anyway, and I don't have any negative feelings about it.  I've grown up to see my parents drink wine almost daily and have acquired their appetite for beverage as well.  I am just sick of the college stereotypical lets drink to get hammered and be stupid.  I'm no saint and had my fair share, but when I was reviewing my bank account today, I was just embarrassed by the amount I've spent at bars.  If I had taken that money, I could have my bottle of Biondi-Santi '97, I could have tried hundreds of different wines by the glass, and still had some left over.  Although I don't have my Brunello, I have tried many different wines, but flushed money down the toilet in 6 euro Red Bull Vodkas and Gin and Tonics as well.  I guess I am just trying to say that I am done with getting destroyed; my favorite nights of going out this semester have involved good friends, and family (when available), and conversing over wine.  To remember one of these times, I often think of the night Adam and I went out with Andrea, my chef at Le Fate.  It was spectacular, not just the wine, but the conversation and to enjoy a moment with Italians (and technically another American, besides Adam, Erica, Andrea's girlfriend is from Michigan, and a half-Italian half-Australian roommate of Andrea's, Lorenzo).  I am desperately looking forward to doing this again on Wednesday night, unfortunately substituting Adam for Jamie (he interns at Le Fate as well).  I expect good wine and better conversation and cherish the opportunity that I have to spend time with my international cohorts.
          But even this is off topic, this was supposed to be about more than alcohol;  I have just let myself down lately.  I viewed this semester, not only as a time away from Oxy to meet real people and new friends, but also as a time of exploration and research.  My goal of taking the subway to a different stop every free day to explore, whether alone or not, hasn't happened in a while.  And I have been going to dinner much more often without my camera and notebook.  While I have been conserving money by using more coupons and going to Le Fate (I eat like a king there, I had 3 plates of pasta last night, not to mention 4 bruschetta), but on the select few occasions that I do make it to new restaurants I am without my notes.
          And finally with work/career/time after Rome.  I have tried fairly hard to secure an internship for the summer to little avail.  As much as I love it, the people and family I've made there, and the money, I have bigger dreams than Island Taco.  It's looking more and more like I will return to my post there when I return, but I long for more.  I still debate a more traditional college career with the restaurant almost daily, but Island Taco just pauses the conversation.  It is neither; yes it is a restaurant, a successful one at that, but not one that is teaching me about a type of one that I would want to open later in life.  The best that I can do here, is gather as much information as possible and keep track of it, collecting dots (as Danny Meyer likes to call it) and storing the information and traits of the trattorias that I enjoy here.  And the summer, I hope to get into some kitchens (or waiting tables) at some more fine dining establishments when I get back, Aubergine, Passion Fish, Bistro Milan, Club XIX to name a few.  So with these concerns out of the way, I come to my new 5 goals for the last month of the program:

1. Collect Dots - eat at the many restaurants I've been meaning to get to, try many different dishes, and take notes and pictures on the aspects that I like.
2. Eliminate the bar scene - or don't drink there and go for the company, and replace it with the numerous Enoteca and bottles of wines that need to be tasted
3. Reinstate Rome Exploration - Don't sit in my room if I have more than 2 hours of time (which includes getting up at a decent hour)
4. Fulfill the goals that I have set for myself and don't put off what I can do now until tomorrow.
5. Refuse to waste the remaining opportunities that I have before me